• Amy O'Hana

Runway Models + Cookies

I just ate a great, big salad. 

But I didn’t eat it all. 

Lying on my stomach on my yoga mat (‘cause that’s how I eat sometimes), chowing down on lettuce and tomatoes and shiitake mushrooms, I realized I was … full. 

I didn’t need the whole thing. And even though it was a salad and it would spoil in the fridge, I stopped anyway. I didn’t need anymore; I had enough. 

Lately, I’ve been contemplating my needs. 

I don’t pay attention to them, at least most of the time. Everything and everyone else comes first. Yet my needs are there, underneath it all. Something in my psyche knows and erupts in really bad ways when I’ve ignored them too long. 

Like not paying attention to my hunger, and then eating too much.  

The feminine energy is creative and nurturing, which means that the external world usually gets my attention first. As women, we wait to attend to our inner worlds until the last possible moment. 

(eruption, meltdown) 

Or shall I say: depletion. 

Depletion and then a frantic grasping to get full again. Starvation doesn’t look good on anyone, even the sexy runway models. Especially the runway models! 

Starvation is our model? 

It’s the masculine energy that is giving (providing, doing), not the feminine. Yet women are giving ... and giving ... and giving. And we’re starving. We are designed as sacred vessels, to be filled with seeds that co-create life. We are designed to be provided for by others. We open and receive. From there, our natural creative energy erupts, instead of the grasping anger inseminated by the desperation of starvation. And the result is … life. 

Let’s be women, women. Let's stop acting like men. Let the men do their jobs. 

Perhaps the real problem is not that women don’t realize we have needs, but rather that (1) we don’t own up to the fact that we have them because that would make us vulnerable, AKA perceiving we are not in control, and (2) we don’t know how to ask others/men to provide for them. (Substitute “Amy” for “we” if you’d like … these are my musings after all.) 

And if I/we could do #1 and #2 above, perhaps we would not wait until the last possible minute to take care of ourselves. We would be able to put the salad away when we were full.

Hmm. I’ll tackle that one after I find a cookie.

Amy O'Hana is a writer and a teacher. Find her and other posts like this one on the web at amyohana.com

Copyright 2020